Homicidal in the Morning

It is our first Friday back at work after the conclusion of our summer schedule…and I am alone in the office with the Hugger.

This is not going to turn out well.

I swear to god, I have never met anyone so entirely incompetent as this woman.  How she got the job is beyond me.  She cannot use a computer without breaking everything humanly possible.  We have now been through two color printers and more paper than I can bear to calculate (pre-Hugger, our office used a box of paper every six months or so; now we go through as much in about six weeks).  And she is driving me absolutely fucking bonkers.

The printers are right next to my desk, because when we first moved into the office mine was the only printer port working.  And over the last two or three weeks, the Hugger has had problem after problem with the color printer.  She insists on printing everything in color, despite the fact that I told her the ink is really expensive and we try to print as much to the cheaper laser jet printer as we can.  She “needs color in her life”.  o_O  So she continues to waste page after page and cartridge after cartridge printing reports, manuals, presentations, and whatever the hell else she does (honestly, I don’t know sometimes).

Because I am of the generation who started using computers in school in third grade, I know quite a bit more about how they work than the Hugger.  So whenever she has a problem, she feels the need to tell me about it first.  Granted, I have been able to help her figure out a few minor things, but I am not an IT person.  She is well aware of this.  But she feels the need to tell me about it anyway before she calls our IT department.  This has grown increasingly annoying over the last few months.

So in the last couple of weeks, the Hugger started having problems getting images to print properly.  The printer would keep cutting off the edges or putting things off center, while on her computer and in her print preview, it would look fine.  After looking at it on her computer (because, “Well, have you called IT?”  “No, but come look at it first; you’re good with these things.”), I had her email it to me.  When I printed, it worked just fine.  IT came, they saw, they scratched their heads, they fixed, and a few days later it happened again.  Rinse, repeat.

THEN the color printer only started printing in black and white.

This has resulted in days and days and DAYS of the Hugger coming up to the printer, distracting me from my work to show me her printing problem du jour, and me automatically replying, “I don’t know what it could be; maybe you should call IT.”  Last week, IT took away my color printer (for which I still have several cartridges that amount to several hundred dollars that are now completely fucking useless) and brought a new one.  And that worked for about two hours.

Turns out it’s a problem with the driver, but still.  I am so annoyed with this woman right now, if for no other reason than she is printing up a storm and insists on showing me whether or not each job printed correctly.  Granted, I’m a bit irritable today anyway because my head hurts.  But she is annoying the living hell out of me.  And there is no one else in the office.  I kind of want to take my book and go hide in the break room for the rest of the day.  I’m listening to chill music and trying to calm down, but it’s like every five minutes the printer fires up, drowning out my chill music, and she comes waltzing in and talking at me.  Not to me, AT me.  I’m not even engaging, but she is so oblivious she can’t tell that I’m upset or annoyed or actually trying to WORK.  She just keeps right on talking.

I’m going to the break room to do some yoga for a while.  Because it’s barely 10:00am, and if she prints one more thing I think I just might kill her.

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