A friend shared this article on Facebook today: http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/disney-rape
Everyone needs to read this. Because this is rape culture defined.
It doesn’t matter if the victim has been drinking. It doesn’t matter if it takes them time to get over the shame and violation enough to come out with it. Rape is rape. No fucking means no. Period. End of line. No exceptions.
It’s no wonder so many rapes go unreported when those brave enough to report it are met with such stumbling blocks in the reporting process, not to mention our culture’s tendency to blame the victim. Do murderers get away with murder by blaming their victims? Not counting cases of self-defense, no. Do bank robbers get off scott-free by blaming the bank? Not unless that’s evidence enough of insanity to have them institutionalized. So why do rapists walk everyday? Because not only do THEY blame their victims and get away with it, our culture backs them. “She/he shouldn’t have been drinking. They shouldn’t have dressed that way. They were asking for it.” Even worse, victims are taught to blame themselves.
Newsflash: Nobody asks for it. Nobody. (Not even those people of the so-called “rape fantasy” persuasion; that’s role-play based on consensual domination and subjugation. Rape is ignoring someone else’s right to consent. It is my personal opinion that if any of those people actually understood what a rape victim goes through, they wouldn’t fantasize about it.)
This has to stop. And I think the only way for that to happen is for people to talk about it, to really think about it, to try and empathize with the victims. We need to re-train our cultural brain. We need to teach our kids that it’s never okay, that No. Means. No.