I don’t understand network television anymore…

You may think this is strange, but I don’t actually have my TV hooked up to anything but its internal DVD player.  I don’t have cable.  I don’t even get local channels.  If I watch anything, it’s on my laptop or on DVD.  Plus, I have more important things to do, like go to dance class or write or whirl in my kitchen or play on the computer.  Either way, I’m not exactly up-to-date on popular television.

And then when I come up for a visit, I realize just how little TV I watch in comparison to my family.  Even as I sit here typing this, some home-makeover show on HGTV is muted in front of me.  I’m used to it when I’m here, but last night after dinner we did something I can’t remember the last time I’ve done.

We watched network television dramas at their normal air-time.

Being the Netflix devotee that I am, I tend to start a series from the top and plow straight through a season at a time.  My schedule is not dictated by what is on when; what is on is dictated by my schedule and whether at that particular moment I feel like watching Battlestar Galactica or Downton Abbey.  It surprised me last night when my stepmom said, “Do you mind if I turn it?  Grey’s Anatomy is coming on!” It seems in this world of on-demand streaming and DVRs, I had forgotten that TV shows play at assigned times, and that some people even watch them at those times.

So I watched Grey’s Anatomy with her, as well as Scandal.  And I have never been more lost in my entire television watching history.  Now I know this is well into the season of two shows I never watch at all, so I was prepared to catch the names and roles of the characters on the fly.  But everything happened so QUICK!  Just when I’d start to know what was going on in a particular scene, it would switch to something completely different.

Maybe my attention span is longer than your average person these days.  Or maybe I’m just out of practice.  But my remembrance of those two programs last night sounds more like someone describing a mutli-car accident than watching television.  “So, there was this lady that had a hemorrhage in her brain and couldn’t remember her kid, and these two doctors almost kissed, and there was this other lady played by the same lady who played Stella on HIMYM who thought her kid had this weird Japanese disease but the doctors kept telling her it was strep, and then they thought the head of the CIA was a mole so they fired him but he’s really not the mole, and the lady who apparently was screwing around with the president is going on a date with this guy who I think is an assassin or something, and this girl cut off her own ear to get $20 million from her dad who everyone kept calling ‘The Devil’…”

I haven’t been this confused since the last strategic planning meeting at work.

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